One Thursday evening, Sarah sat at the kitchen table, laptop open, eyes bright with excitement. “David, I’ve decided to join the women’s mission team to Guatemala in October. It’s only ten days. Pastor Mark’s wife is leading it, and they need someone with my teaching background for the children’s program.”
David paused and set down his coffee. “Sarah, we’ve talked about this. The kids are still young. Ethan’s only seven. I’m swamped at work with the new project. Ten days is a long time. This is not a good idea.”
Sarah’s smile tightened, but she kept her voice calm and biblical. “I’ve prayed about this for weeks. I feel the Lord calling me.”
“I’m not saying never,” David replied carefully. “But as your husband, I think you should wait at least a year.”
Sarah closed the laptop with a soft click. “David, I love you, and I want to honor you. But you don’t have the right to veto this.”
David blinked. “What?”
“The Bible tells me to submit to you,” she said, folding her hands neatly, “but it doesn’t give you unlimited veto power over my life. My gifts are from God. My calling is from God. You’re not my Lord—Jesus is. If I feel clear direction from the Holy Spirit, I have to obey Him first. Submission doesn’t mean I become your puppet.”
David stared at her. “So… you’re submitting to me except when you don’t want to?”
“That’s not fair,” Sarah said, her tone patient and slightly pitying, the same tone she used with their children when they misunderstood a Bible story. “You’re supposed to lead spiritually, yes, but not control me. I’ve studied this. Many godly women throughout history followed God’s call even when their husbands hesitated.”
Later that week, the mission trip deposit cleared from their joint account. Sarah had already paid it. When David asked why she went ahead, she smiled the same gentle smile. “Because the Bible doesn’t actually give you veto power, sweetheart. It gives you leadership. I’m trusting you to lead by supporting what God has called me to do.” She kissed him on the cheek and walked out of the room.
David watched her go, wondering when “submission” had quietly become “I’ll do what I want and call it God’s will.”
Feminism has made it taboo for wives to submit to their husbands. Many Christian women believe it is outrageous to suggest that their husbands can tell them what to do and prohibit them from doing something they want to do.
Today’s passage tells us that Yahweh gave Israelite men veto power over vows their wives made to Yahweh. While this passage sounds very archaic to modern ears, it is not much different than the New Testament teaching that the husband is head of the wife and wives must submit to their husbands.
Num. 30:1 ¶ Then Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes of the sons of Israel, saying, “This is the word which Yahweh has commanded.
Num. 30:2 If a man makes a vow to Yahweh or swears an oath to bind himself with a binding obligation, he shall not violate his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.
Num. 30:3 ¶ “Also if a woman makes a vow to Yahweh and binds herself by an obligation in her father’s house in her youth,
Num. 30:4 and her father hears her vow and her obligation by which she has bound herself, and her father says nothing to her, then all her vows shall stand, and every obligation by which she has bound herself shall stand.
Num. 30:5 But if her father should forbid her on the day he hears of it, none of her vows or her obligations by which she has bound herself shall stand; and Yahweh will pardon her because her father had forbidden her.
Notice that unmarried women were subject to their fathers. A father could veto any vow an unmarried woman made.
Num. 30:6 ¶ “However, if she should marry while under her vows or the rash statement of her lips by which she has bound herself,
Num. 30:7 and her husband hears of it and says nothing to her on the day he hears it, then her vows shall stand, and her obligations by which she has bound herself shall stand.
Num. 30:8 But if, on the day her husband hears of it, he forbids her, then he shall annul her vow which she is under and the rash statement of her lips by which she has bound herself; and Yahweh will pardon her.
A husband had complete authority to veto his wife’s vow.
Num. 30:9 ¶ “But the vow of a widow or of a divorced woman, everything by which she has bound herself, shall stand against her.
Women who were no longer married were bound by anything they vowed.
Num. 30:10 However, if she vowed in her husband’s house or bound herself by an obligation with an oath,
Num. 30:11 and her husband heard it but said nothing to her and did not forbid her, then all her vows shall stand, and every obligation by which she bound herself shall stand.
Num. 30:12 But if her husband indeed annuls them on the day he hears them, then whatever proceeds out of her lips concerning her vows or concerning the obligation of herself shall not stand; her husband has annulled them, and Yahweh will pardon her.
Num. 30:13 ¶ “Every vow and every binding oath to humble herself, her husband may cause it to stand, or her husband may annul it.
This verse makes it clear that a woman’s vow was subject to her husband’s approval.
Notice what is not in this passage. There is nothing about husbands needing their wives approval. When a man made a vow, he was obligated.
Num. 30:14 But if her husband indeed says nothing to her from day to day, then he causes all her vows or all her obligations which are on her to stand; he has caused them to stand because he said nothing to her on the day he heard them.
Num. 30:15 But if he indeed annuls them after he has heard them, then he shall bear her guilt.”
Num. 30:16 ¶ These are the statutes which Yahweh commanded Moses, as between a man and his wife, and as between a father and his daughter, while she is in her youth in her father’s house.
This passage seems very archaic to modern ears. Feminism has made this taboo. However, the New Testament teaches something similar. Ephesians 5:23 tells us the husband is the head of the wife. Just as vows by Israelite women were subject to the approval or disapproval of their husbands, but not vice versa, so too in the church age, wives are under their husbands’ authority. Men do have authority to tell their wives what they can and cannot do.
Thanks for visiting Bible Mountain. If you have already joined my email list, thank you and please tell others about Bible Mountain. If you have not joined my email list yet, please do so now. In order to join, go to BibleMountain.com, click on subscribe, and that will take you to a page where you can sign up. Your email address will not be sold nor given away. Once again, thanks for visiting Bible Mountain.
“Scripture quotations taken from the (LSB®) Legacy Standard Bible®, Copyright © 2021 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Managed in partnership with Three Sixteen Publishing Inc. LSBible.org and 316publishing.com.”